


Exercise in Buggery

by Burningchaos



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bad Albus Dumbledore, Bad Weasley Family (Harry Potter), Crack, F/M, M/M, love potions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-10-14 07:42:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17504462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burningchaos/pseuds/Burningchaos
Summary: Crack by request for Suiquneedited 10-05-19 for glaring errors that should never occurred.





	Exercise in Buggery

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FenrirsTeeth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FenrirsTeeth/gifts).



Dumbledore sighed heavily as he looked at Molly, Ginny and Ron. “We have a problem.”

“Yes we do”, Molly interrupted, “the potions Ginny is giving Harry aren’t working.”

“Yes, I was getting to that.” Dumbledore found the woman and her children irritating. “Severus found out that Harry is gay during the last Occlumency lesson.

“WHAT” Molly screeched.”HE CAN’T BE IT RUINS EVERYTHING!” Albus winced at the octave her voice reached. 

“We have a few options. If you’ll let me continue.” Fawkes squawked in the corner and disappeared, he seemed to do this everytime Molly was around.

“Obviously the contract we drew up for Harry and Ginny won’t work. I’ve talked to Severus and he offered to marry Harry for half the vaults, or to make a gender switch potion for Ginny for a third of the vaults. 

“NO! I don’t want to be a boy. I’m the first girl in three generations, and...and he should love me the way I am." Ginny burst into tears.

“It’s alright Ginny, we can find you another rich husband. “I’ve been told Justin Finch Fletchley is not only the heir to a large Muggle fortune he also has a title in the Muggle world.” Dumbledore tried desperately to sound soothing. 

Ginny was still sobbing into her mother’s shoulder, loud hiccuping sobs that turned her face a ghastly splotchy red that was not attractive at all. 

Ron is just sitting there, thinking. One, he was hungry and two, he’s a boy but mostly he was thinking the same thing as Dumbledore, Ginny looks like shite crying. 

Ginny stopped wailing, and sniffed before wiping her eyes and nose on her sleeve. “Justin’s not Harry but if he is rich I’ll take him.”

“Good, Good. I’ll have Severus start keying the potions to the both of you.” Poor Justin was sitting in Defense and had no idea why he suddenly shivered, or that his life was never going to be his own again. 

“Wait, isn’t he a Muggleborn?” Leave it to Molly to make it difficult.

“Yes, but this will lead into some of my future plans a bit earlier.”

“I’m a boy”, Ron burst out. “I’m not gay but for all that money I could marry him and have some bint on the side.”

“Ronald, language.” His mother was always on him but if he controlled the boy who lived she would be begging him for money, and he could all the food he could buy. He could eat anything he wanted, never work, and play quidditch all day. It would be perfect. If Harry was a girl. 

Ron leaned forward, “Why can’t we genderswap Harry?”

Dumbledore refrained from rolling his eyes, barely. The boy was a moron. “It would muck up the prophecy. Harry must remain a boy.” He tapped on his desk for a moment. “We could give you potions to make you want Harry, and we could does him with the same potion Ginny was using.”

“Only if I don’t have to take it up the arse.”

‘“RONALD”. 

Ginny started laughing, a loud braying sound that reminded Albus of a donkey. 

“We can make sure Harry wants to bottom.” Personally that was what he preferred and Gellert was a magnificent top in his day. Sadly Nurmengard had left his beloved impotent. 

“Right, I can do this. Can I go to the kitchen and eat, I’m starving.” As far as he was concerned it was done. He was going to marry Harry, live happily ever after with all Harry’s money. He heard Seamus talking about gay for pay, so it wasn’t like he was the only one doing it.


End file.
